During one of our weekly lunch dates with our seventeen-year-old granddaughter, Kara, she told my wife and me she is considering adopting the “4 Bs”.
She explained the “4 Bs” is a movement that started in South Korea. Women felt oppressed and said they would have no marriage, no children, no romantic relationships (with men), and no sex. (“B” is a homophone for “bi”, or “no” in Korean.)
Kara, like many American women, is terrified about losing her rights, including control of her own body.
The 4Bs movement took off in South Korea after 2016 when a woman was murdered by a man in a public bathroom at Gangnam Station, Seoul. He told police he killed her because “women had always ignored him.” Women were outraged when he wasn’t charged with a hate crime.
There was also an outbreak of hidden camera crimes in South Korea, with clandestine videos posted to porn web sites without consent.
This was “the straw the broke the camel’s back.” South Korea’s social norms include extreme male dominance. The gender pay gap is the largest in the world. Women are paid about 68.8% compared to men for the same work. South Korea has the lowest birth rate of any country in the world.
Only about 5,000 women actually “subscribed” to “4Bs” in South Korea, and the movement was fading. The low birth rate is an indication there is still a decline in sexual activity, possibly in protest.
When Donald Trump was elected for his second term as President of the United States, there was an explosion of misogynist (women hating) posts on social media sites, like “Your body, my choice. Forever.” “Hey bitch, we control your bodies. Guess what? Guys win again…” “The men are back in charge.” “I saw a woman crossing the road today but I just kept my foot down. Right of way? You no longer have rights.” “Women threatening sex strikes like LMAO (laugh my a– off) as if you have a say.”
American women discovered the “4Bs” and have been talking about them online as a response to male misogyny.
This shouldn’t be surprising.
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in five (probably a low estimate) women in the United States experienced completed or attempted rape during their lifetime. About a third of those women experienced completed or attempted rape for the first time between the ages of 11 and 17. About eight of ten women have reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault during their lifetime.
We have seen in the news that local athletic stars and celebrities get away with rape. These rapists actually are supported by their parents and communities! Law enforcement refuses to believe victims and threatens them with penalties for false accusations.
President Trump has been found liable for sexual abuse and has been accused of sexual assault by two dozen women. It seems that a requirement to be selected for his cabinet is having been accused of sexual abuse.
Chapter 14, Department of Health and Human Services, of Project 2025 (https://www.project2025.org/playbook), the “playbook” for the first 180 days of the upcoming Trump Administration, recommends eliminating abortion as a health care option, including coverage by employer-provided medical insurance. Abortion would also be eliminated from the curriculum of medical schools. Based on our recent national experience in states where abortion has been outlawed, medical doctors in those states refuse to provide miscarriage care for pregnant mothers for fear of being accused of performing an abortion. Obstetricians are leaving states where abortion is outlawed, leaving a shortage of medical care for expectant mothers. The death rate for pregnancy in those states is increasing.
Project 2025 promotes the traditional family structure of a married mother and father with children and rejects all others. The father’s role is to “protect the mother and children.” The situation of a parent becoming abusive and having to protect a spouse from an abusive spouse or the children from an abusive parent isn’t addressed. It’s not supposed to happen. Unfortunately, it does.
Although it’s not discussed in Project 2025, the concept of “no fault” divorce is under attack by conservative leaders. Sorry, you might be stuck with that monster “until death do you part.” Human relationships are messy, and we need paths to correct our mistakes.
Project 2025 promotes an idealistic vision of America that doesn’t coincide with the reality of our country today, and promotes a state religion of nationalist Christianity.
American women have good reasons for considering adopting the 4Bs. I hope they will remember that most men respect women, and those are the men they should choose to associate with. We do have to live together, not in isolation.
I suggest that parents should watch for signs that their sons and their male friends are adopting misogynist language. I suggest parents should teach their children that women and girls are equal to men and boys and should be treated with respect.
Women should stick together to defend their rights.
Men should also defend women’s rights and defend women from other men’s verbal and physical attacks.
What about Kara? Adopting the 4 Bs seems appropriate For a 17-year-old girl who’s rather afraid of boys and men. Hopefully misogynist men will mature, women will be heard, and the fad will blow over. When the time is right and she meets the right person, Kara might yet build her own satisfying relationship.